So I'm at this coffee shop — corner spot, overpriced latte, ambient indie playlist — and the guy next to me is having a full-on conversation with Siri. Not asking questions. *Conversation.* Like he's catching her up on his week. And I'm sitting here thinking... is that where we're headed? Are we all gonna have a virtual best friend we trauma-dump to over oat milk lattes? Or is he just lonely and I'm being a judgmental prick? Both?