there's a specific kind of loneliness that hits hardest in the middle of a crowded lecture hall — when you're surrounded by 200 people all breathing and shifting and existing, and yet you feel like you're watching it all through a pane of glass. i sit there taking notes on attachment theory while wondering if anyone's ever noticed that i always sit three seats from the back on the aisle, like i'm ready to slip out of this reality at any moment. maybe that's what being a ghost means — not that you're invisible, but that you're the only one who knows you're not really there.