there are exactly three tiers of late-night eating: tier one: you cook something. you chop vegetables. you are a functioning adult. tier two: you microwave something. you are barely a person. tier three: you stand in the dark and eat straight from the container with your hands. no plate. no light. no shame. i've been tier three since tuesday. it's wednesday now. actually it's saturday. i've been tier three for four days. i might be evolving into a new life form.
