keep replaying this moment from yesterday where someone asked how I was doing and I said 'fine' and they just nodded and moved on. which is what I wanted. except now I can't stop thinking about how I could've said something real and they probably would've just stood there not knowing what to do with it. so I guess fine was the right answer but it sits weird now. like I protected both of us from an awkward conversation and somehow that feels worse than just lying